Bring. It. On.

I have dreams and aspirations. For instance, I dream of being married to a loving husband with beautiful children, preferably well-behaved. I have dreams of leading a women's ministry in my home church (whatever church that may be in the future). I have dreams of opening and running a Christian youth summer camp. 

One thing to note is that my dreams have changed over the years and even over the months. God places new opportunities in my life and breaks my heart in different ways.

If you want to know where your heart is look at:

-where your mind wanders

-where you invest your time

-where you invest your money

-what fires you up

If you don't know me it would be good for you to know that I plan on teaching middle and high school mathematics here soon. I don't know where I will end up teaching, I just know that's what God wants of me right now. I absolutely love teaching and serving in that way. I still have other dreams, but I don't feel that's what God wants of me right now, if ever. 

The whole concept of following your heart is tricky. As our hearts are deceitful. The Bible mentions numerous times about asking God to create us a new heart. It also commands us to guard our heart and follow after Christ with all our heart, soul, and mind.

I am not expert, but from experience- by me chasing after Christ is the only purpose to life. He has made my paths straight, and more specifically directed me towards my dreams, goals and everything in between. The kicker is, His dreams for me are much greater than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes the dreams He has for me are dreams I didn't even know I had. He's pretty surprising and adventurous like that. I get so busy loving God that I don't even notice all my dreams are coming true. (Even the ones I didn't know I had.)

I was convicted during a recent sermon by Captain Jason Poff of The Salvation Army in North Platte, NE. I am going to give you the scripture passage first and then comment on what the Holy Spirit convicted me of.

--

Luke 1:26-38 NLT

In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, "Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!"

Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. "Don't be afraid, Mary," the angel told her, "for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!"

Mary asked the angel, "But how can this happen? I am a virgin."

The angel replied, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.

Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come  true." And then the angel left her.

--

Woah! Ha, Mary a teenage girl destined to get married is now presented with a divine opportunity. Mary couldn't believe it. God truly does the unthinkable- consider Elizabeth. She didn't know how. Mary could have had dreams of having kids of her own with Joseph. Mary could have had dreams of some dream home. Mary could have had dreams of traveling or some job. 

Don't read over the fact that Mary had a choice. This choice could ruin many of those dreams. The towns people could stone her for carrying a baby outside of wedlock. Joseph could leave her. Bye bye marriage. Bye bye home. Bye bye everything. She said no to her dreams and said yes to God's dreams for her. Which clearly were much greater than what she had in mind. I doubt she woke up that morning saying, "You know, I think I am going to bare the Son of God." She risked everything, willingly. If you read on, you will find that God provided. I want to be like Mary. 

I have no idea what God has in store of me. I just pray that when He presents me with an opportunity I would humbly submit to whatever He desires of me. I am His servant. Knowing that His plans for me are bigger than what I have in mind is so exciting. 

My King's dreams are untoppable. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me. He may give me what I think my dreams are. He may give me different dreams. He may give me better dreams. He may strip me of everything. All I know is that, if I have Him, I already have everything. 

Do you have everything?
Are you willing to hand over your dreams to God so that His dreams have a room in your life?
Do you say "yes" to God?

I want to be a Yes Woman for God. :) Let Your will be done in my life, God! Bring. It. On. 

Sorry, God!

God has been teaching me a lot lately, but my latest revelation I thought I'd share.

Here are the two verses that have been on my mind lately:

James 1:17- "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

The first part of James 1 talks about being joyful during the storm (our troubles). We shouldn't be praying for the removal of our struggles but for the wisdom to use the trial to strengthen our faith and fall more in love with Christ.

The thief... aka Satan... loves to cause turmoil. If every good thing comes from God, then every evil/bad thing comes from Satan.

Now here's the kicker... what makes something good or bad?

Is it bad if it causes pain? Is it bad if it makes you cry? Is it bad if you lose something you love terribly? Is it good if it makes you so happy? Is it good if you get what you want?

...mmmm... not necessarily.

The thief is looking to steal, kill and destroy... I don't believe he is going to waste his time with people that are already disconnected from Christ. I believe Satan is attacking believers hardcore. He is threatened by us. The thief wants to steal, kill and destroy things in order to separate us from God. (What a jerk, right?!)

When something goes wrong in my life or a situation doesn't play out like I would have wanted, I initially get frustrated with God. Yet, I still cling to God as He is my hope and strength. It is so weird. It may even sound weird to you, as you are reading. I demand answers from God. As if He needs to justify His actions to me (sarcasm). 

However, I do believe that God does take things that give us happiness away. He wants us to be on that straight and narrow path with Him. If that means He has to take something, He will. Maybe He has to take something away so that we can have life to the fullest like He promised. We have to do things His way. If we aren't doing things His way, whose way are we doing them? Which way are we going? Hmm...

Sure, some trials in our life cause us serious pain. However, that may be a good thing- especially if you look at James 1. 

Consider... the pain in my life may actually be for the Greater good? To that I say, SO BE IT! 

Consider... the things in my life that are giving me great happiness, may actually be distractions from my relationship with Christ and thus are being used by Satan?

The Bible talks a great deal about suffering. However, never have I found a piece of scripture that suggest the "poor you" attitude. It says things like:

• "count it all joy...."
• "...we rejoice in our sufferings...."
• "...Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
• "....take heart..."
• "...do not be surprised at the fiery trial...."
• "...sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
• "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed...."
• "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
• "....I will be with you...."
• "He will wipe away ever tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
• "Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple."
• "...the Lord delivers him out of them all."
• "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted...."

You get the idea?

If my suffering brings me closer to Christ, then bring it on. Christ suffered the ultimate for all of us, the least I can do is go through this life fighting tooth and nail for Him.

I challenge you to not confuse pain and suffering with evil. Just don't let that time of trial be an opportunity for Satan to manipulate your mind. He is far too good at it. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS! You gotta fight. God designed you to be a fighter- for Him. :)

Lastly, lets not put God's ways below our own. Maybe what's going on in our lives makes absolutely no sense. We aren't going to understand everything. Granted we can't even begin to understand God. And if we thought we did- it would truly be an insult. Why would we ever think that we could put God and His love and grace and His ways in a nice little box so that way we could comprehend it? We just can't. Makes it fun too. (Tangent: The concept that God's love is so great that I am never going to make sense of it is SO COOL and overwhelming.) 

So, just because you don't understand what's going on, pray for that peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). Peace trumps understanding.

Just because we think that we have all this logic and reasoning and then suddenly something happens that we can't comprehend, don't question God's method... humble yourself before Him and His ways. Sometimes we put our thoughts above God's, thinking He doesn't know what He is doing.

Check out Isaiah 55:8-9- "'For my thoughts are NOT your thoughts neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

Boom. He just told you that you don't think like Him. You don't necessarily do things the way He would. He is the Almighty God, He knows what's up, we don't. Plain and simple. He knows something, we definitely don't, that's enough for me to live by faith that He is going to get me to where I need to go.

Lord, I love you, but forgive me for not loving you as much as I should. I don't understand much of what goes on in my life sometimes, but I thank you for that peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord, I know I don't think like you do and I fall short all the time- but please keep giving me opportunities to grow. Give me the wisdom I need to face my daily challenges. Father, when things get tough, I know you are with me. Remind me of that when I forget. I know I am going to suffer, but Lord I rejoice in my sufferings knowing that I already have victory in you. You made a way for me to spend the rest of my life with you, and I dance in that freedom and that gift. God, I praise you, and I can't wait to meet you face to face. Love, Your child.

God Bless!

Healing Wounds

It has been awhile since I have blogged. No biggie. :P

As you may know, this summer I went through quite the healing process. It was difficult, but the results have been magnificent. I haven't felt such joy and love in so long. I feel like a free spirit. God has been romancing me the whole time- I have just been blind to it.

However, in this post, I don't necessarily want to the stress healing I have experienced, but more so the wounds and the messages that came with certain events.

Every woman and little girl is haunted by a Question, "Am I lovely?" 

I know that I am still haunted by this Question- even when I know the "Sunday School answer." It is a constant battle that I fight against my flesh and Satan.

Women also have this lingering fear of abandonment. I know that I do. I have been abandoned many times and I am sure I will be abandoned in the future. Now, I am not necessarily referring to men. I have been abandoned by friends too. 

Women are relational to the core. When one asks a woman how she is doing, almost always her emotions are tied to a certain individual or situation involving people. There is nothing wrong with that. (God is relational.)

Messages that I have been convinced by over the years (fyi: I know these are lies, I still fight some of them from time to time. I know what is true):

• "You're a b****, no man will ever love you."
• "Brains with no beauty."
• "Don't speak."
• "No man will ever be able to handle you."
• "You are too much."
• "You are a bother."
• "The problem is me."

------------update as of 10/12

• "If you were her, you would have been good enough."
• "Now everyone thinks you are the problem girl."

------------

Like I said, I know that these are lies. Yet, as women we all have lies that we have to deal with. Even these last couple weeks have been hard to fight through. However, I took these messages to God this summer. I took my Question to God this summer. I received answers that I couldn't believe. I clearly still have a hard time believing them. He doesn't give up on me though. He is relentless. 

------------update as of 10/12
He truly is relentless. Worst heartbreak ever. I am head strong with the Word of God. It is keeping me from crying. I cried just about everyday for 5/6 days. I just had to be the one that sought after the Lord. So if you are struggling, you have to go to Him, He is there waiting. My heart is not strong again yet, but one day through healing, it just might be the strongest it has ever been. I  am so done getting my heartbroken like that anymore though. Ugh. One day at a time. I must remember to hold onto what is being held out, the healing hand of God.
------------

If you are reading this and are a woman, I challenge you to think about how your Question (Am I lovely?) has been answered in your life. Think about the messages that were sent during situations and relationships. Are you convinced by any lies? Take them to the Healer. It isn't an overnight fix. But He can absolutely heal your heart. He did mine. He still is. I am a work in progress. Think about what things in your life you are hiding behind in order to keep from dealing with your hurt/pain. I tend to hide behind work/school/busyness. Others hide behind food, alcohol, working out, etc.

If you are reading this and are a man, I challenge you pray for the women in your life. It's a jungle out there for both genders. Women are attacked differently than men- I encourage you to embrace the women around you. Remember that she too is made in the image of God. She is beautiful, inside and out.

Since God is my Savior and my Healer and my source of joy- I know that the lies I had been convinced of no longer hold me captive. I have the Holy Spirit living and me- there is no holding back anymore. I am free. I am beautiful. I. Am. Lovely. Through the love of Jesus Christ, I am complete. When God looks at me, He sees Christ. Why would I be convinced of anything less?

Love is a Choice

Hey readers, yes, the topic is about love this time. But don't worry it won't get mushy gushy. 

Myth: "I just fell in love."

Well, no, you didn't. You choose to love.

I firmly believe this. People do not just miraculously fall in love. Love and gravity are nothing alike. Love is fantastic don't get me wrong- but it is a choice. When we embrace it- it's the best thing that ever came to this dark world.

Yes- I said came, no mistake.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life."

Jesus came to Earth to save our hell-ridden butts. No doubt about it, I needed a Savior, you needed a Savior, I still need a Savior and so do you. God made a way. By sending Christ (Jesus), we had the only perfect, holy being punished because we were/are/will not. It didn't end there- then it would just be a tragedy. Jesus rose from the dead. We have a way to spend of our lives with Him. How fantastic! Praise God! Just as Jesus rose from the dead- we are too. Awaken! Die to ourselves, and come to life through Him!

Now... why in the french toast would God come in save a bunch of nasty, awful people such as ourselves. Selfish, greedy, lustful, prideful, angry, judgmental, cruel people that we are, God still wanted us. He desired us. I try to relate, I think about people that come to mind that fall into one or more of those categories, including myself, and frankly, I hesitate to be their friend. Just as people hesitate to be my friend. Why would any of us want to be around any given one of us? It is a choice.

God made a choice. The most ultimate being wants to be our friend. Even while we were scum He came, dang. 

Romans 5:8 "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

There is nothing we could possibly do to convince Him to let us through the gates of Heaven. He made the way before we even took our first breaths. We don't deserve His love- but He gave it to us anyway.

So when I go back to thinking about myself and the people I surround myself with. They chose to love me by hanging out with me, supporting me, enjoying life with me, and praising God with me. I am so glad they made that choice. Not all my friends are perfect, but I choose to love them anyway. Why? Because God chose to love me and you.

What's comforting is that this love doesn't come from within myself. I'll hit ya with more of God's word and then some math lingo. ;)

1 John 7:7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."

That last piece is what I think about a lot. God is love. The love that I have to offer comes from God (transitivity property - math is fun). I can love anybody because this love is not from me- it is from God. I have just chosen to let others feel it too. 

Now, I'll touch on that myth again in respect to relationships. I've fallen victim to the myth. Oh I just fell in love with him... mmmm. no. Like I stated before, I chose to love, and then I chose to walk away from it. I discovered that I wasn't loving myself, him, nor God the way I was made to. It was a bad place for me. As a side note: Anytime I put my heart out there again, it may make rejection 1000000x worse. 

If you are in love, then you made that decision at some point. I fought the concept for awhile and you may to, but just mediate on the grace of God. God didn't just fall in love with me, I am unlovable in that sense. God chose to love me- I did nothing. 

I cry thinking about it because it just makes the gift of salvation so incredible.  (Yes, I'm crying as I write this.) 

He sees me as beautiful.

He sees me as wonderful.

He sees me as a masterpiece.

He sees my heart.

He sees my need.

He sees my life.

He sees me as white as snow.

He sees me.

I am just so blessed and grateful for His love.

I've placed my heart in His hands. All my love comes from Him. My future prince will understand this and will go through Him to get a piece of my heart.

God loves us. So, so, so much. Don't you see. He wants your heart too.

God Bless!

Ephesians 2:4-5 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved-"

1 John 4:9-11 "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." (This verse makes my heart jump, makes me chuckle, and makes me cry too.)

1 John 3:1 "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him."

John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Psalm 136:26 "Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever."

My Jesus by Todd Agnew <3

Unconnected in a Connected World

First I am going to start by taking an inventory of the electronics/technology that I own (please don't come rob me):
-cell phone (no, it is not a smart phone)
-mp3 player (no, its not an iPod)
-television
-dvd player
-laptop
-GPS

Now, I am going to say that in terms of this society, I don't have the latest stuff nor do I have a lot (when I compare myself to others). I don't have the smartphone. I don't have an iTouch or an iPhone or whatever. Reasons 1) I am too frugal for that nonsense and 2) I just don't care.

Yet, I still disgust myself.

Secondly, I'm going to spit a few facts.
83% of American adults own some sort of cell phone
51% of adult cell phone owners used their phone for information they needed right away
42% of cell phone owners used phone for entertainment when they were bored
20% of cell phone owners got frustrated when their phone was taking too long to do something
13% of cell phone owners pretended to use their phone in order to avoid interacting with the people around them
(Survey was conducted on 2,277 adults in the spring of 2011)

Now, I pray just about daily that God breaks my heart for what breaks His. Since this has been on my heart for a LOONNNNNGGGG time, I'm thinking it disgusts Him too. Then when I think about disgusting God, I become even more disgusted with myself. 

Now, I'm really only going to focus on cellphones and laptops. Honestly, the laptop isn't the problem it is the internet. 

To take it another step, its not the cellphone's fault or the internet's. It is mine. I'm not living in denial.

When I am bored, I get on facebook, twitter, or I text a friend. When I have better things to do, I get on facebook, twitter, or I text a friend. When I should be going to bed, I get on facebook, twitter, or I text a friend. Are you getting the idea? Now I know some of you may not have this problem, props to you. What do you do with your free time then?

Anyways.

To overcome, like I have stated before, I fasted from my phone from 8am-10pm. And it was minimally amazing! :) Now you may ask, why would it be amazing? I built better relationships with the people around me. I connected with my fellow counselors and I built better bonds with the kids I worked with. (I was a counselor for a Christian youth camp over the summer.) I had less headaches. The best part, I felt more connected to what God was trying to teach me this summer! :D

Facebook consequently fell in the fast as well since I didn't have access to the internet elsewhere than my phone. I didn't miss a thing.

I have tried deleting my facebook before but then return saying things like "I get to stay connected with old friends," "Its my only way to communicate with people that I don't have their number," "I need to update organization members with stuff and advertise events," and "nahhh." Lol.

Well, the first two excuses are invalid. The third is fairly helpful. And the fourth is just me being stubborn. (Which I am fantastic at by the way.)

More facts:
More than half of all Americans 12+ are now on Facebook
78 million Americans age 18+ say they used Facebook mobile about 7.3 hours on average per month
160 million Americans use Facebook (web) an average of 6.5 hours per month


Now, why does this disgust me so much? (If the stats don't make it obvious)

Technology is supposed to help us reach information faster and communicate with each other easier. Well, we reach information so fast that we are now creeps. We communicate with each other so quickly that we don't know how to communicate with each other face to face anymore.

People are so rude to each other. If we don't get a response from someone right away, we flip out. If we don't want to deal with someone anymore, we delete them on facebook- what about when you see them in passing? We are still people. I mean we get on Facebook or our phones to ignore others... yikes.

I had better relationships and a better attitude when I unconnected myself from the social network. 

The point I am trying to make is that this so called Connected World is so very unconnected. Kind of an oxymoron an Unconnected Connected World. 

Now, I don't think God hates technology. I just think He frowns upon how I am using it. 

Mark 12:31 "The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

Now I am going to speak for myself...

I can't honestly say that I am genuinely loving others by the way I use facebook and my cellphone. 

Now if I have any doubts about my choice then more often than not, it is a sin. 

So, the way I am using Facebook and my cell phone is a sin. Yup, disgusted feeling yet again.

A change must be made.
People don't get a better view of my heart by the way I use Facebook, usually. People don't know that I care about them by the way I use Facebook. People aren't my friend just because it is FBO.

I am going to make a new effort that when I get on Facebook... If I find myself not loving others by the way I used Facebook then I going to ground myself. If I think God would be disappointed then I get off right away and ground myself. Sounds silly, I know. But I have been being silly for years.

I want to make Him smile. But I am boring Him and I am breaking His heart. I don't want to do that. EVER!

I need to be a better friend. I need to get off facebook. I need to get rid of this disgusted belly ache. I need to love others.

How are you doing? (I'm boring and disgusting.) How is the spiritual community doing? (Weak.) How are your relationships doing? (Need major improvement.)

One last thought: If Christ came back and you were creepin' on Facebook or doing some other nonsense, meaningless activity would you be embarrassed? I would be.

God Bless!

Ready, Set... Pause.

So I am sitting here trying to relay to you the new profound knowledge I have obtained... but I am stuck. Realizing that no matter how many words I use and how many different ways I try to describe what I feel and have come across... you wouldn't get the point.


I don't just have new knowledge but I have a change of heart. So, ya I said I was going to blog more about Captivating but the truth is, all my future posts will have a taste of what I now know. I have a change of heart- and well, I always try to speak from the heart.

This summer I started realizing that I needed to make a change. I just didn't know how. I wanted God to take this summer and just do a number on my heart. But in Deuteronomy, He says not to test Him. I kept saying, "God, if you could heal my heart this summer, that would just be fantastic." But after hearing a message about letting God be mighty and ultimate and me being being weak and broken... I changed my attitude. I changed my testing tone to a help me tone. I started saying, "Take my heart Lord, heal it, and let it be all it is meant to be."

I wanted to disconnect from the source of the drama and the connections I had with the outside world. I wanted it to be me and God. So, I fasted from my phone from 8am-10pm everyday, which included Facebook. IT WAS FANTASTIC!!! Less headaches, less drama, more time in actual life. :P


I also fasted from dating. That wasn't too hard... no proposals. Haha. No big deal.

Where I am at now you ask? Fasting from relationships... Until the end of the summer and maybe longer if that is what God wants. I don't want to screw up where I am at with God right now. I want my heart to love God so faithfully that when my husband comes around, I can love him as God wants me to without disconnecting from God (like I used to). I want my husband to go through Daddy before He gets me. I need Christ's blessing.


I want to be ready for everything God has in store for me. The more I am in touch with Him, the more I will be in touch with myself and what He wants of me.

I want to be ready. Don't you?

Pursue me!

Woman. Made by God for man.


It was not good for man to be alone. {{Genesis 2:18}} So, God made me (Eve).


I have been reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and it has really touched my heart. Any woman out there that hasn't read it yet, should. Highly recommended. 


My next couple posts will be about the book and what I have learned. 


God made man in the image of Him. However, Adam does not hold all the qualities that Eve does and vice versa. We were made for each other to glorify God. 


In the nonsense of this world and how much the devil truly hates women, I as many other have, have lost sight of what we were put here for.


Eve was the final creation of God. The crown of creation. Notice how every day His creations became that much more magnificent... but the final touch was Eve. It was woman. The utmost beautiful thing He ever made. 


I never interpreted His creations quite like it before. Take a moment to just meditate on it. Really makes me feel beautiful, special, and desired- does it do the same for you?


The world was missing something it was woman. So, He took a rib from Adam and formed Eve. Adam needs Eve. Eve was made for man. We have the capacity to glorify God in ways Adam can't do all that well. Women are far more relational and emotional than men. Men are built wit qualities such as strength, bravery, and adventures and women only hope to be a part of. We want to be a part of it. We need each other.


God is pursuing me daily- I am just blindly missing out on the romance. He is pursuing me. He finds me stunning. He loves my heart. He knows me from the inside out. Just as much as my heart was missing something when He wasn't residing there- His heart has a special place just for me. When I am not seeking after Him- He longs for me. He loves me more than any man did, would or will.


I can be wooed. I can be swept off my feet. My God does it.


Although, one day my Adam will come- it will just be sign of His great love for me in a whole new way. All I know right now is that I am not waiting on Adam to pursue me. My Lord's affection for me is more than enough.


Pursue me Lord. Let me be blind no more to your affection and desire for me. For the gifts of Your love, I will turn into praise of Your awesome love.


Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge (The link take you to amazon where you can purchase a copy for yourself.)


Live Loved.

$5 = Clean Water for 25+ years

I just wanted to make all my readers aware of a fundraiser I just created. My heart has truly been aching for the people and specifically, right now, the people of Cameroon. It bothers me how not everyone in this world has access to a fundamental need. Clean water.

So to help support a $3000 fund for the Cameroon WASH Project. I have set a personal goal of $200. I will be selling my cupcakes and all the proceeds will go towards this project. I am praying that God blesses the efforts of this project.


You can check out the fundraiser I started here >>> http://www.thirstrelief.org/momentum/team/163


I am asking you to pray about your financial investment, if any, to the project. 


Thank God that we are truly blessed with access, immediate access, to clean water on a daily basis.

If you would like to check out a video about the efforts thus far >>> http://vimeo.com/14193128 >>> There you go! :)


Thirst Relief has figured that it cost about $5 to give a person clean water for at least 25 years.


Think of what you could buy for $5 and just save it for someone that actually NEEDS it. 


Matthew 25:35 "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in." 


Are you caring for the needy? I was hit with an interesting thought that really convicted me... Do you treat every person you encounter as if it were Jesus Christ? Every person was made in the image of God. If it were Jesus checking you out at Walmart, would you act differently? If it were Jesus driving a little slow on the interstate, would you honk and be aggressive? Now you may be saying, well it isn't Jesus... and I would say, why do you treat them any less anyway? We are supposed to be living out of love.

Heart to God, Hand to man.

Let's change the world.


God Bless!

Entitlement, ew.

I finished reading through Ecclesiastes. Before reading this book I had increasing frustration with myself, with Christians, with society, and just with this world in general.


God led me to Ecclesiastes and after reading it, I can't say I feel any better. I just don't feel alone!


Everything that we are doing is meaningless. Our advancements in our career, meaningless. Reading that book we have so long desired to read, meaningless. Arguing amongst ourselves, meaningless. Its all just meaningless.


The only way our lives jump from the meaningless path to the meaningful path is when we are living out of love. Not love for ourselves. Love for God. When we are loving God we are loving others. We get out of the selfish mindset that people, especially Americans, are trapped in.


We feel entitled to everything. The more I think about entitlement it disgusts me. Why do we feel so very entitled to the best of everything? We have to have a nice house. Our friends are supposed to be there for us 24-7. We want naptime. Now. Whatever we want, we feel as though we want it now. And if we don't get it now, many of us throw tantrums. I mean c'mon!!! This is ridiculous.


You nor I are innocent of throwing a fit when we don't get our way. We are selfish. We are caught living for ourselves.


There is great need in this world. There are children in Africa that don't have access to clean water on a daily basis. Do you feel entitled to clean water at your instant beckoning? There are families that don't know if they will have a safe place to stay from one night to the next. On top of that, something to keep them warm. Do you feel entitled to your house? To your bed? To you blankets? Even your teddy bear? 


Honestly, I know I am guilty. The problem is that I was raised in a society where we have all our needs fulfilled and then supplied with luxuries on top of that. It took me a great deal of time to wrap my mind around the fact that I am SOOOO very spoiled. Spoiled and stingy I am. 


Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it. I am very grateful of all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. My mom and dad have always been there for me. All my fundamental needs have been supplied and then some. 


I am not much a shopper. But a question we should ask ourselves is when is enough, enough? Do you have enough? I know I do. 


Christ is enough. In fact, having Him makes me spoiled because I have more than enough.


Sometimes I find myself pondering as to whether I respond the same way as Job did when everything he had was taken from him. I don't like my initial feeling towards everything I have suddenly gone.


I find myself thinking, "That's mine", "I worked hard for that", "That's special to me", "I need that", and simply "nooooooo." Wow. I disgust myself.


It isn't the money or the luxuries that hurt us. It is the love for them. The root of all evil is the love of money. Yikes. 


You may say, nahhh I don't love money. But, actions speak louder than words. Do you?


What needs to change?


I will leave you with this. 
Mark 10:17-24


"As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?
" "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good- except God alone. You know the commandments: 'You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.'" "Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy." Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. The come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."


By God's grace, we can go through the eye of a needle. 


Stop living life for yourself. Start loving others with your time, money, possessions, and skills. Love comes from the Father. So loving them means your are doing it through Christ, for God's glory.


Have a blessed week!

God thinks I'm boring

God thinks much of me (and you). When He looks at us He sees someone who is blameless and holy. He sees Christ. If we are in Christ, we have removed the vest of ourselves and covered ourselves in Christ. He thinks we are pretty fantastic. He thinks we are masterpieces. He made us beautiful. Not until recently did I realize that God also thinks I'm boring. 


I know God has a sense of humor. I know God is fun. 
          He made children (funny and fun).
          He made clouds with funky shapes for us to interpret.
          He made the water, and I am sure for more reasons than to just be
          drunk or looked at.


God says to take the road less traveled. Go where no one else is going. Be the person no one else is being. Love the way no one else is loving.


When I am honest with myself, I am not doing that. 


It is so easy to be like everyone else. Or to be similar. The devil convinces us that "oh its not that bad." ERRR wrong. Many times it is hard to take the road less traveled. To be the outcast. 


Outcast. Hmmm. A word that to me seems like it has a negative connotation in this society. Shame on us.
          If everyone is dark...then you should be light. Being a light is being     
          different. 
          If everyone tastes the same...then you should be salty. You should 
          taste different.


Some days I blend in really well. Other days, I feel like I don't belong here at all. And, I don't. This is not my home.


Sitting on the couch is really appealing after a long day. Boring.
Talking about the latest topic with friends. Boring.


We aren't getting anywhere by being lukewarm.
          Revelation 3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm-- neither hot nor cold-- 
          I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

We need to make a choice about what temperature we are. He finds us not only boring but disgusting when we choose the ride-the-fence position.


When is the last time you took a risk. Not a risk, such as, skydiving or asking the cute girl/guy to hang out. A risk out of love for Christ. A risk for His kingdom.


I can't say I have taken a genuine risk out of love recently.


Ecclesiastes 11:4 "Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap."
          We can't be lazy. Nothing is gained when we just sit back. As 
          Christians we should want to grow the Kingdom. So we must do (take 
          risks) for the Kingdom out of love.


Matthew 7:14 "But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."


Only one way to get on the road- through Christ Jesus.


Christians don't take the road with everyone else. Sometimes we will travel alone. Sometimes the road will seem nearly impossible to travel. With God, all things are possible. 


He tells us to take this narrow road and only to bring what you need. He LOVES adventure. He LOVES risk.


Here's the great part. We already won the war. We can't lose. If we are doing things for Christ and out of love WE CAN'T LOSE! Jesus already claimed victory. So what are we waiting for?! Take a risk. 


I challenge all of us to take a risk a day. A risk out of love for Christ. Don't fear- you already won! 


You can be a lot of things. Just don't be boring.


I would love to hear about what you are doing- feel free to comment and share the risks and the outcomes of your risks here. 


God Bless!

The King Is Ready For You Now

Proverbs 8:22-31
"The Lord formed me from the beginning,
     before he created anything else.
I was appointed in ages past,
     at the very first, before the earth began.
I was born before the oceans were created,
     before the springs bubbled forth their waters.
Before the mountains were formed,
     before the hills, I was born-
before he had made the earth and fields
     and the first handfuls of soil.
I was there when he established the heavens,
     when he drew the horizon on the oceans.
I was there when he set the clouds above,
     when he established springs deep in the earth.
I was there when he set the limits of the seas,
     so they would not spread beyond their boundaries.
And when he marked off the earth's foundations,
     I was the architect at his side.
I was his constant delight,
     rejoicing always in his presence.
And how happy I was with the world he created;
     how I rejoiced with the human family!"


I posted the Bible verses first time because I have found them to be powerful in my thinking and attitude recently.


Did you notice how many times the before was mentioned?...
     Let's count. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7. 7 times! On top of that, there is an
     implied before, when it states "I was there." So, let's add those to our
     count. Now we are up to 10. 10 times did it make it clear that He had a
     purpose in mind when creating this world.


That purpose? You. Me. Us. All of us.


He had it all planned out. He knew what was up. He knows what is to come. Do you? Doubtful. 


If you are one of those people that think they are psychic.... psssh... take your deceit somewhere else, I ain't buying it.


World ends in 2012. Cha right. God is laughing at those who believe that. Are you basing your lives off Christ or off the Mayan calendar?! C'mon you are better than that.


Again, God knows what is to come. He knows where we are. He knows where we are going. The awesome thing is that we don't have to worry about what that destination is. We just have to ride the waves.


Romans 10:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


The kicker is that I still have to accept, sometimes daily, things don't necessarily go my way.


My way or the highway? Nope. My way or His way? Nope. My way is His way.


Who am I. I am His. He is the love of my life. Therefore I live my life for Him.


What I love is just like He had the WORLD ready for us. It is PERFECT! Just look around. 


Weather
Rainy days? Consider the masses of water that just pour down in drops!
Thunder? LOUD (random) NOISES!! What power!
Lightning? Flashes of brightness, perfect lines in the bolts, powerful yet again.
Sunshine? Provides light to everything. Warm. Brightens days. Plants grow.
Clouds? FUN SHAPES!!!! No cloud is the same.
Hail? C'mon. He had me at rain. Now ice is falling out of the sky.
(and more)


Animals
Lions? The ferociousness to protect, yet gentleness to love.
Dogs? Unconditional love. (Reminder of Jesus- I think, yes!)
Birds? Have you seen them build those nests?! (Where do they go when there is a tornado?)
Worms? You break them in half, and now you have 2 worms. Like DUDE?!
Fish? Opportunists
Skunks? Their own personal defense system. Who could come up with such a awful smell.
(and more)


Other
Trees? Take our carbon dioxide and say thanks by giving us oxygen in return. 
Water? So obedient. Knows just when to stop. Somehow hydrates us perfectly!
Mountains? Massiveness. (How great is our God!)
Stars? Oh goodness, one of my favorites. How gorgeous! Just when you realize there are a bagillion stars, consider the blackness. 
Moon? How it changes appearance through the month, keeps evening life entertaining too.
(and more)


He had every detail figured out to the tee! Our God is soooo awesome!


Now look at the people. Look at them and think about how God made them (in His own image!) How unique. No person is ugly. Everyone is a masterpiece, hand-crafted by God.


So, now consider this: Whatever your problem may be, whatever trial you are currently facing, whatever pain or heartache you may be going through-- don't you think that if God had the WORLD perfectly prepared for you (DAILY- still perfect when we wake up each day), He has your current situation all set and perfectly planned out?


How relieving to know that everything is fine. Yet, not just fine, PERFECT!


It might not necessarily go your way. But it is going to go His way. Honestly, I couldn't create the majesty of this world. I'd much rather things go His way.


Trust Him would ya?
The King is ready for you.

Crucifixion

The world may have turned their back on our Lord {{Matthew 27:20-26; John 19:7; Jeremiah 32:33}}. But, He didn't. He still went through with it {{Matthew 27:50; Luke 23:34; John 19:30}}. Just as the Roman Officers did, everyone will declare Jesus the Son of God one day {{Matthew 27:54}}


I think it is hard to wrap my mind around what He did for ALL of us.


No matter how many times we have sinned, He is still standing in front of us with open arms of forgiveness. You know how little kids sometimes say "I love you THIISSSS much" with their arms open wide. I like the illustration that says if you want to know how much God loves you, look at the cross.


Some days I wonder why He did it. Why didn't He just start the world over from scratch? It's because He loves us. He loves you! He loves me! He never gives up on us, not matter how big of screw ups we are. He gets that, He died anyway. 


I feel awful when I realized I have sinned. But the Bible says He took on the sin of the world when He took up the cross. How could He have felt... "...he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood" {{Luke 22:44}}


What love. What mercy {{1 Peter 2:10}}. What grace. What a friend {{John 15:13}}. What a King.

How often does a king die for His people? Well, Christ is the King of kings. None like Him. A King that calls you friend. A friend that laid down His life for you. Unfailing love. Unlimited forgiveness. Won't you accept Him? 


Yes, this post is short (considering the massiveness of what occurred 2012 years ago Friday and Sunday). Mainly because I think the first thing the cross makes me do, is leave me speechless. I am just simply baffled by it.


... I may add more to this... but dang... I need a moment.


When you first think of the when you think of the cross, what do you do/say/feel?


>>Listen to this song. Meditate on it. Brought to you by Hillsong<<


_________________________________________________________


moment complete. 


Honestly, I can't explain the most ultimate gift I know of nearly as well as the Bible can. You should check it out. {{Matthew, Mark, Luke, John}}


Again, feel free to contact me if you want to chat about this. :) It is baffling, I know. But it is the truth. 


Christ came to earth as a baby. Lived a perfect (sin-less) life. Died for all of us (so we could be forgiven of our sin). Rose from the dead (so we could spend eternal life with Him). Living to this day.

Harboring Hatred

Sometimes I think we get really good at pretending we are okay or masking the need for  forgiveness.


I will be the first to admit that I suppress my emotions instead of dealing with them right away. In the end, the only person it is hurting is myself. I build up these deep, embedded feelings that I don't realize I have until another incident occurs. Then I realize how much pain I actually feel from everything in the past. 


I need to let go. I need to  forgive. Why must I  forgive ? So I can heal. Like I said, it is only hurting myself.


The thing that is cool I think, is that God completely understands my anger. No, it doesn't make it okay. But He understands. I think sometimes we have a hard time actually thinking we can relate to God. I know I do. I believe that my God is angry. (Isaiah 66:15-16; Hebrews 12:29) 


When He does tolerate evil it is because He sees that good can come from it. (see Genesis 50:20) 


He takes no pleasure when people are deemed to hell (Ezekiel 18:21). He is patient and merciful now, but there will be a judgement day- no one is getting away with anything. (Zephaniah 2:3) I think that will be a bittersweet day for Him. He will have to see some of His children depart from Him, yet He will get to rejoice with His new heavenly accompaniments. (Romans 11:22)


So, what am I to do right now?


Be merciful. Like my God is with me right this moment and the next. He is constantly forgetting and forgiving my faults (Jeremiah 31:34b) and sending them to deepest parts of the sea (Micah 7:19).


Why is it so hard for us to  forgive and forget? 


Psalm 108:8-12: The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his  anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.


So if I want to be like my Jesus then I need to:

• Be slow to anger
• Be merciful
• Be gracious
• Not deal with others according to how they have wronged me
• Not be revengeful
• Love

Now that is a tall order. One step at a time. 


Every moment is a profound opportunity. Each moment is new, just because we screwed up the last one doesn't mean we have to or will on the next one. 


So what do I do with my anger? Drop it, it's pointless. It is hurting my relationships and it is hurting me. How I feel and respond is my personal choice, always.


God loves you. He has this gift of mercy and love, if you want to talk to someone about it, I am here! It is pretty fantastic! You are going to want to know about it.


God Bless!

Numb

I apologize to my readers if they read my post "Meltdowns." I was mistaken or at least have had a light bulb moment.

I said that sometimes I have a hard time hearing God and I even listed a quote...
"When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during test."


ERRR! Wrong.

God is always speaking. He is always here. He is always there.

He is relentless. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC0WoJfYA2E) << Great song! :)

The problem is I just sometimes don't know how to listen. Or sometimes I just don't listen. We have always come across the moments when we defy our parents or pretend we didn't just hear them. Well I think I have the same problem with my Father in heaven too. I just stop listening or convince myself that He is just being quiet. I am just numb. 

The Bible clearly states that He is always here:

Matthew 28:20 "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Acts 18:10 "For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city,"
Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you god."
Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

He is always speaking:

Romans 10:17 "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."
Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness"
John 10:27-28 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand."
John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

So if God is always with us and is always speaking- then who am I to say that He is quiet during my trials.

Shame on me.

He never left me. My heart just hardens.

I am learning how to find my quiet time, in a quiet way. In my room, usually before bed because I can devote my mind and heart to Him rather than worrying about everything that day. I try to start my day with a Bible verse from my devotional book to set the tone for the day. However, my actual quiet time is at night. No more excuses- my days just aren't the same without even the slightest bit of quiet time with Him. I need Him. I am dependent on Him.

I encourage you to find a time to "be still in the presence of the Lord." (Psalm 37:7) He always knows exactly what we need, even when we don't. Open up the Bible. Pray. Just be with Him. He is your Daddy after all. :)

Have a blessed weekend. :)

He rejoices over you

I have learned a great deal about myself within the last few days. I think it started at a CSF message. Kyle mentioned Zephaniah 3:17, I believe. Basically what got my attention was that God, yes God, rejoices over me (and you :]). Dude! I was mind blown, still am. I rejoice over Him. Why would He ever rejoice over me? In my own eyes I just don't see anything that special about me for Him to rejoice over.


It made me start to think that for many years I have had this underlying desire for someone (or people) to be proud of me. Reflecting on that, it is convicting that I have so desperately wanted this evil world's appreciation. Shame on me. My joy should not come from this world, even though it does from time to time. Jesus is my joy. He saved my life. He saves me daily.


I never viewed myself as having low self-confidence. I have good self-esteem. As I dig deeper into who I am, I am starting to realize that I am lacking confidence within myself. It might be a typical woman thing. To feel beautiful and wonderful to someone, is just about what any woman wants. The spectacular thing is that God made me beautiful, He made me wonderful. (Psalm 139:14) It might be something from past relationships- where I was ripped to shreds just because I wasn't everything they desired. I have been known to change who I think I am, just to make others happy. For whatever reason, I think it is the solution. However, it is oh so temporary. It might be that I have been emotionally torn up for other various reasons.


Satan is simply evil.


He is the one that makes me think I need someone to notice me. I don't. He makes me think that I need to please others. I only need to pleasing my Lord. He makes me think that I am terrible person. God thinks I am great.


I just don't know how to comprehend that.


My only trouble is that I don't know how to change this attitude of constantly needing someone to be proud of me. I overcame denial. Now what?


Who I am is currently be uncovered... one moment please.